Passages

It's been a long time since my last post and a lot has happened. Most notably my half-brother's death. It was not unexpected. Nor was it particularly untimely. He had been suffering with cancer for quite a while and when I saw him in January it was obvious he was not well, and not going to be well again. So the timing, just two months after my arrival for a visit in January and just a few days before his 80th birthday was perhaps appropriate. I think in some way he chose his departure time...I believe that within boundaries we have that power.

With his passing the last of my nuclear family disappeared. Although I have nieces and a nephew and cousins and friends and colleagues - and will hopefully make more friends and have more colleagues in the future - the last of my family, those people who contributed mightily to making me, me, are now all gone. This doesn't happen to everyone. Someone in a family has to be the last one standing. And I am it for mine: the keeper of the memories of our lives.

So while his death was a release from earthly strife for him, it created a bit of a burden for me. A new role  and one that I don't particularly want. But, if it is like other things I haven't wanted and then got, being the memory keeper will make me a better person for having done it. I guess it is just another variety of blooming where you are planted. In this case, being planted at the end of the line.